Past and Present...a Reunion

This weekend was my 35th high school reunion and I thought I might ramble on about that for a bit.

High school was such a strange time for me. I was still VERY shy and withdrawn inside my own head. What most of my classmates did not know was that my father was very emotionally abusive and my mother was very shut down and I had been the victim of sexual abuse by a neighbor so that by the time I got to high school I had the self-esteem of a gnat. I was also having issues with my sexuality but actually was NOT aware of the fact that that was the problem. I just thought I was weird and socially awkward. I knew that I did not have a clue how to be a girl but I did not exactly want to be a boy either. It was confusing and miserable at times.

That being said...I am constantly fascinated by the impact spending four years with this particular group of people has had on my life. I know I would not have survived public school. I would not have been able to deal with the larger classes and the pressure to conform. Not to mention the bullying that existed even back then. I would not have made it. I would have taken my anxiety and rolled myself up into a little ball and ran away.

I know that high school was not perfect but for the most part these kids that I shared the experience with made it possible for me to survive and come out on the other side. Whether they knew it or not their laughter and their personalities helped me navigate a very difficult time for me. After all these years the thing I remember most about them is the laughter. That's really it...that is the most important thing that has stuck with me. My class had a lot of big personalities who were, as confident as high school kids can be, at ease with that and really let their humor run rampant. Their laughter and their willingness to not ostracize that weird girl who never talked are what I remember the most.  They allowed me to just be me. 

I have not stayed in close touch with most of my classmates. Elaine and I have managed to stay friends since the second grade, which says a lot about her patience. But I find it so interesting that these people that I have not seen or spoken to in 15 years or more still mean so much to me. I care about their lives and their kids and their grandkids. Even though I find it so bizarre that we are old enough to have grown children and grandchildren. In my mind we are still the kids we once were.

We will all continue on with our lives and who knows when I will see or speak to many of them again. Social media does at least make keeping aware of their travels in life more possible but for the most part we will all continue on our separate ways. I just wanted to say thank you to all the members of the McAuley High School Class of 81'. You are all important to me and I hope you continue to prosper and enjoy your families and your lives and please keep the laughter alive.

Namaste