Expelling Some Demons

Today I decided to try and expel some demons. A couple of summers ago I took myself up to Ha Ha Tonka State Park to hike and take pictures. Unfortunately it was the summer I was having a lot of trouble with breathing. So much so that they tested me for COPD. I headed off to see the Devil's Promenade and a collapsed cave. I had no clue the trail would be as challenging as it was and I can be such a stubborn bear sometimes. Long story short...instead of turning around and going back the way I came I tried to work my way out the other side. Unfortunately I got myself really turned around and quite befuddled and generally lost. I then proceeded to have a panic attack which was oh so helpful for my breathing. Due to not thinking clearly I turned the wrong direction and made it worse. Finally...I was having such trouble and was in such a panic that I had to swallow my pride and flag down a pickup and ask them for help. They were such a kind young couple and they helped me out and got me back to my car. I will always be eternally grateful to them for helping me and not dismissing me as a whack job.

Today I decided to go back and face my fears. I was not about to attempt my original excursion. I decided, instead to try the natural bridge area and the sink hole area caused by another cave collapse similar to the one I visited Saturday. I headed off with the masses to check it out. I knew the trail was .75 mile long so I thought it would not be too bad. Holy crap Batman they have a weird idea of what might be a good trail. It was steep and rough and just kept going up. I found myself...not getting in a panic per se...but finding I was having more trouble breathing again. Not to the same extent as last time but still it was hot and it was muggy down there and so I decided I had done enough and discretion was the better part of valor and I turned around and went back to the car.

I did get some good pictures. I survived. I would have been happier if I had made it the whole way but I did the best I could with what I had. I think I am done with Ha Ha Tonka. I have conquered what I needed to conquer. I have only found a couple of places in nature that I have gotten a bad feeling about and this is one of them. For some reason the energy there feels very bad to me and seems to affect me badly as well. The farther I drove out the area the better it felt. I don't know what is inhabiting that area but it's not the benign peacefulness that I usually find. But I did it and for that I am very proud of myself.